Self-Advocacy at Work: How to Prepare for your Performance Review
Self-advocacy at work is crucial for showcasing your achievements, communicating your value, and setting the stage for future growth. You may expect your manager to know exactly what you accomplished, but it’s important to keep in mind that they are also an employee with their own workload and career to manage.
When performance review season approaches, the onus is on you to accurately articulate your accomplishments so they can measure your performance. Make it as easy as possible for your manager to advocate on your behalf if that is the process in your organization.
Here are some self-advocacy tips for when you approach your performance review meeting or complete your performance review assessment:
1. Prepare Thoroughly
Document your Achievements and Major Deliverables throughout the year
Your organization is likely understaffed and you are overworked. This seems to be the lay of the land the past few years. You are hustling to get your job done and the last thing you want to do is add more work on your VERY full plate. But, trust me. You will thank me for this later. Keep a running list of your major deliverables, initiatives that you sponsored or spearheaded, and continuing education. As time passes, you will lose track and it’s crucial to remember these things when you are completing your performance review. Keeping a running list is equally important if your manager is advocating for you at a roundtable. The onus is on you to ensure they have the information they need to be your cheerleader 😊
2. Communicate Your Value
Turn up the ‘I’:
If you have read ‘Be Your Own Cheerleader,’ listened to any of my podcasts, or been a participant in my keynotes or workshops, you have heard me refer to the We/I dial - a dial like a speedometer in a car. For those of us that come from collective cultures, it’s especially difficult to turn up the ‘I,’ because we were raised with the collectivist mindset of group harmony. We feel so comfortable living in the ‘We,’ because it’s familiar. Well, my friends, the harsh reality is that in corporate America, there is an ‘I’ in team. Whether you come from a collective culture, were raised by immigrants from a collective culture, you are not a natural born self-advocator, you are neurodivergent, or you are underepresented, when it comes to performance reviews and communicating your value, you MUST turn up the ‘I.’ Share your accomplishments! If not you, who will?
3. Pretend you are your Best Friend
Turn up the self compassion:
‘Neelu, I don’t feel comfortable talking about myself.’
‘Neelu, I feel like I am being obnoxious or arrogant when I talk about myself.’
‘Neelu, I am team player and it’s a group effort.’
These are just some of the statements I hear from my coaching clients. If you say this to yourself or some version of this, you are not alone. May I suggest that you take a moment and reflect how you would speak about your best friend’s accomplishments. It’s so easy for us to be cheerleaders for the people we love. When you are struggling to speak up and advocate for yourself, pretend you are your best friend. How would you talk about your best friend’s accomplishments. Take a deep breath and visualize your best friend. How would she/he/they fill out your performance review assessment?
4. She vs I
Talking or writing in third person:
Many years ago, I remember cringing during a business development call as I was sharing my credentials. I felt viscerally uncomfortable and the person I was speaking to felt it too! I never heard back from him and I obviously didn’t get the gig. I realized I would be out on the streets with no food to eat if I didn’t learn to speak confidently about my accomplishments experience, and credentials. How was I going to go from being viscerally uncomfortable to self-assured? Speak in third person. ‘Neelu published her first book in 2023. Neelu has spoken at some of the largest fortune 500 companies.’
Let me be clear - do NOT do this in front of your manager or potential new client. Practice makes progress and when you practice speaking in third person, you start to feel less cringy. Ultimately, when it’s time to have the conversation, you’ll feel more confident to move into first person. ‘My first book was published in 2023. I have spoken at the largest fortune 500 companies.’ And, this leads me to #5! PRACTICE
5. Flex the Self-Advocacy Muscle
Practice makes Progress:
I can’t say this enough! Practice...Rehearse. You are not going to magically wake up and feel comfortable self-advocating if you haven’t practiced. Rehearse what you will say in your performance review conversation before meeting with you manager. Take some time to let the words roll off your tongue so you don’t feel uneasy in the moment.
And, by the way - the way we are in one situation is how we are in all situations. If you find it difficult to advocate for yourself at work, you might also find it difficult to be your own cheerleader at home with your family or friends. When we are flexing the self-advocacy muscle, practicing in different contexts makes it easier to do at work.
Self-advocacy can also look like telling your husband you want Thai food instead of pizza. 😀 Self-advocacy takes all forms and the more we practice, the easier it will become in other settings.
Take a deep breath and know that you have all the skills you need to speak up and advocate for yourself in your next performance review conversation. And, if you don’t feel like you are ready, reach out and I can coach you through the conversation.
Good luck! You got this! 🙌
