Be ‘Through Time’ Not ‘In Time’
This is the fourth in a series of posts on using self-advocacy to prevent burnout. For more tips, check out my book Be Your Own Cheerleader.
In our post-pandemic, recession-hit world of work, facing losing your job to a chatbot in the middle of a climate crisis, it’s harder than ever to stay mentally healthy at work. A feeling of negativity in one moment can cast a shadow over everything, bringing on feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness.
In this article I explain how to climb out of the pit of despair a moment of negativity can throw you down, by taking a step back and reminding yourself that the only constant is change.
Stuck in a moment
Your relationship is on the rocks. You’ve achieved none of the things you wanted from your career and now you THINK you are over the hill. Your parents never accepted you and probably never will. You said all the wrong things in that meeting with that guy 5 years ago. You are a big loser and you’ll never make anything of your life.
After lunch, the sun starts to peep through the clouds. Maybe things aren’t so bad after all…
In fact, your brief pre-lunch moment of low blood sugar spread its misery deep into your past and all over your future, casting a dark shadow on your entire existence. And then a sandwich galloped in on a white horse to restore your sunny outlook.
There are many wonderful moments in life — times you never want to end — screaming on a rollercoaster, dancing to your favorite band, graduating from college, or basking in the first butterfly-filled days of falling in love. Then, there are terrible times you wish would end right now, like being ill, or surviving a break-up, or moping through the cold, dark days of winter.
When we are stuck in one of these moments, be it good or bad, we can only see through the lens of our current mood.
In Time vs Through Time
In NLP, there is a concept referred to as ‘In Time’. When you are in time, you have no access to feelings from other times and places. A negative feeling in the moment casts a negative light on your past and future. A positive feeling in the moment casts a positive light over the rest of time.
The alternative to ‘In Time’ is a concept called ‘Through Time’. This is when you feel there is a sense of change, movement, and continuity between past, present, and future.
Being through time makes it easier to accept the negativity of the moment, feel it in its completeness, then wait for it to end. It also enables you to appreciate a positive moment for exactly what it is, to savor it, be thankful for it, and add it to your collection of happy memories.
Using this knowledge to avoid burnout
When you’ve experienced a lay-off or a bad presentation, or you’ve missed out on a promotion, remind yourself of the very human tendency to shine that sadness onto your past and future.
Step back and remember that nothing ever stays the same. You are already hurtling towards the next important moment in your career or personal life.
This too shall pass.
